Truth, Lies and Reality

I am someone who likes to know all the facts. I don't like secrets, well that isn't quite correct. I don't like half information. Don't tell me something and then not give me all the information. It makes me obsessive and ridiculous. But I am getting off topic...

Truth is a funny thing. Everyone says that they want the truth. We all know lies are bad and breed other lies and then all of a sudden you are caught in a web of deception and there is no way out. So we pursue the truth and then when we have it, what then?

I spend all this time convinced if I know the truth it will make it all better. I will have all the facts and be able to sit down logically and move forward. Then I get the truth and it hurts more then the not knowing. Nothing is clearer...I don't want to go back to before the truth but I don't like it here either.

Truth hurts. It is important and probably for the best but it hurts. Lies hurt. If you keep up the lie they hurt the liar, if you eventually tell the truth it hurts the person you lied to. So that takes us to reality. Whether you live in the truth or the lie it becomes your reality. You can't escape it.

Reality bites.

Jesus, a new flat and a pretentious deer.

Last Thursday Emma and Rob had a party at their flat to celebrate Emma moving in, to catch up and oh and something to do with Jesus. It is the most beautiful flat I have seen in a long time and I may have to leave Lindsay and kill Emma so I can have Rob and his flat all to myself. :)

It was all a very lovely evening filled with laughter, dancing and of course serious discussions about world politics until the evil Polish vodka. Now of course it says on the bottle that it is just regular old vodka and that the long stem of grass is purely for decorative purposes. I personally feel that this "grass" may actually be the hair of Satan. Needless to say after a few too many cocktails and two to three shots of Satan's vodka I was legless. Literally. One minute I was getting up from the couch and making my way across the living room and the next I was on the floor. No tripping or slipping just up then down. The lovely Kalen picked me up off the floor and got me to Sarah.

I spent the next couple of hours admiring the craftsmanship of Rob and Emma's Bemis toilet. I have to say to the people of Bemis, love your work, however though the push in toilet flush may seem very stylish and sleek but it can be a bit of a pain to a drunken woman trying to hold on to the shred of dignity she has remaining. Of course Sarah was wonderful and went above and beyond best friend duties that night. She is the Lilly Allen to my Lindsay Lohan. Sarah did not however get along quite as well with the porcelain deer on Emma's bathroom sink. She announced that the deer was judging her and then promptly removed it's head. I cannot comment on the deer and it's alleged judging as I was too busy trying to stay alive.

Moments before I fell down for no reason

After slamming down water and triskets while taking advice from Sarah on the best ways to "remove" everything from my stomach and Emma pounding my back and offering crispers (among other things) Sarah managed to crawl me to the spare bedroom. I slept it off a bit and then managed to walk back out into the now just as messy as I had been party. All around an excellent evening...watch for future tabloid articles announcing my admittance to a Malibu rehab facility.

Piece of my Heart

A lot of people can say it but not many can feel it along with you. When your heart is bleeding and you can't take it anymore a little bit of Janis Joplin can make you feel like you aren't alone.

So pour yourself some Southern Comfort, turn up the volume and let your heart bleed with Janis.

Piece of My Heart

(Come on…)

Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man, well yeah,

An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?

Honey, you know I did!

And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,

But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.

I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby, (break a..)

Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah. (have a..)

Hey! Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, yeah.

You know you got it if it makes you feel good,

Oh yes indeed.

You're out on the streets looking good, and baby,

Deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right,

Never never never never never never never hear me when I cry at night.

Baby, I cry all the time!

And each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain,

But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again.

I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on, yeah take it!

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. (break a..)

Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, (come on…)

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, yeah.

Well, You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good

I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. (break a…)

Break another little bit of my heart, darling, yeah. (have a)

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby,

You know you got it (waaaaahhh)

Take a…Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. (break a…)

Break another little bit of my heart, and darling, yeah yeah (have a)

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby,

You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good

Sunday Shooting and Sunshine

So last Sunday it was an absolutely gorgeous day and Sarah and I finally went out shooting again. Between all of our commitments lately we hardly ever seem to get out and shoot together which is a far cry from our minimum of once a week outings last spring/summer.

I had being eyeing this decaying old warehouse just off Main and Terminal every time I drove by so we hit that first. I seem to be going through a "urban decay" phase where all I want to shoot is decrepit buildings, peeling paint, broken windows and fire ravaged houses.

Of course in true Sarah and Jessie (aka Lucy and Ethel) fashion the area turned out to be a bit dodgier then I originally had anticipated. We kept the car close a) so we could make a quick getaway and b) so Lindsay would not kill us which helped our safety factor a little bit. We still ended up getting many looks and yells but the shots were worth it. I think next time we will have to go with a few other people as there was this even better area we wanted to hit but was a little bit too rough.

Also, when I say shooting I mean with cameras. For some reason everyone assumes we are out with hand guns. Really guys? We are out in rough areas with hand guns doing what? Playing Charlie's Angels? Do we really seem like those girls...wait don't answer that....

365 Month Three

I have completed my third month of 365. 90 photos done, 275 to go (and yes for all that know me I did have to use a calculator for that). I was on a bit of an emotional roller coaster this month and it definitely shows in the shots. It is becoming harder and harder by the day to find something new to do. I am also tiring of the sight of myself. I have never been one to shy away from cameras (ever) and honestly I love having my photo taken. I thought that this challenge would make me love myself more and help me see things I didn't before. That is what a lot of people seem to get out of it. I find though recently I am just judging myself more. That I am beginning to hate my smile and just feel like I couldn't take a great photo if I tried. Of course this could be all part of the process and next month I will be raving about how fabulous it all was.

I want to try and put more into my shots. I am looking forward to the warm weather coming and with it being lighter later so I have the option to go outside more.

As hard as it has been I really do love a lot of the shots I took this month. I would struggle to find a favourite, or even a top three. So maybe it isn't all that bad and I am just tired and cranky. Who knows?! :)

For those who have been following my 365, thanks, stick with me I am sure it can only get more interesting from here.